Week 2 - Continued

It is day 6 of Week 2.  I weigh again in two days.  So what did I decide to do today?  Have another breakdown!

 

(Thank you to MadMikesAmerica for letting me borrow this one)

I too have concluded that McDonald's is evil.  Mainly for their delicious McNugget and fries combo.

I woke up in the middle of the day and had 6 hours before I had to be at work (I work overnights and usually sleep all day) and only had 9 points left until my clock resets at midnight.  Normally this wouldn't be a problem and I would fandangle something out until later.  But I got the wild hair that I REALLY WANT SOME MCNUGGETS!  Why is this entering my mind now?

I kept telling myself to ignore it and go eat the soup in the kitchen.  NO!  SHUT UP BRAIN!  I argued with myself (and my husband sadly enough) about it for over an hour.  What about my weekly points?  What about my activity points?  What if I just quit the whole thing and go binge at Chilis or something.  Ugh.

In the end I gave in to my weakness and went and enjoyed 10 wonderful McNuggets and some fries (I didn't large size so that is progress!).  I was torn about how to feel after the deed was done. I logged all the points and sighed to myself.  Part of me was in despair for giving in.  Part of me was upbeat and told myself to just move forward from here.  Part of me was not really giving a damn and told me to get over it.  I'm not sure who won.  Then I got that horrible feeling of thinking I couldn't tell anyone, like I had committed some crime or devious act.  Would they look down on me?  Would I look like a failure to this group of weight loss buddies?

Then my angry and defiant side kicked in and said SCREW THEM if they judge me.  Just because I ate unhealthy doesn't mean I've thrown off the whole program!  I'm not a bad person!  I can still do this!  I had all these things planned to say in order to defend myself, although I'm realizing now I didn't even need to.

So now that I've gotten over myself I've planned my last day of this week to get back on track for my weigh in tomorrow.  I definitely need to work off a few nuggets and hope the fries don't hang around until Wednesday.

Learn something new this week: Hardships are inevitable.  Defeat is not.

Week 2 - Over the First Bump

June 23, 2011
I weighed in at 155.0 this week.  I lost 1.2 pounds.  Honestly, I'm a little disappointed.  I feel like 1.2 pounds was nothing....like it was water weight or something.  Like I went to the bathroom and lost a whole pound.  Bleh.  I know everyone around me says it's a good start and to be happy about it, but I can't.  Maybe I'm selfish and wanted more from myself.

This week was my first real breakdown.  Friday night was my night off and my husband and I wanted to go out to eat as we normally do.  Like a good girl I looked online before we decided on where to go and looked up the restaurant's nutrional info to calculate point values.  Every menu I looked at was high in points, even after splitting the meal and taking some home for later.  Every food I loved and wanted seemed off limits.  "NO YOU CAN'T HAVE THAT!"  My WW buddies knew from Facebook that I was ready to give up and just go eat what ever I felt like.  Screw the plan and screw the points!  I was immediately depressed and sulked in my living room for a few hours.  My poor husband was probably starving, but he waited for me to come around and decide on what we were going to do.  I finally composed myself and told myself to get a grip.  I then went over everything we had in the house, planned a trip to Walmart and then made dinner.  My husband ended up cooked a great meal on the grill and we watched movies all night.  I felt so good about what I ate and even though I went a few points over, I knew it was the better choice for me.
I'm glad I had those somewhat cheering me on via Facebook and of course my husband was there to rattle back to my sanity.

That night I made cake from a recipe I found on the WW site.  Actually I made 2.  They were super awesome and only 5 points for two pieces.  Mmmm

Sunday I went to eat with my sister who has also joined us on this WW round.  Again we did the restaurant dance and debated as to which one had better choices.  We eventually decided on Subway, which is not as point savvy as you would think!  We ate a whole 11 points worth with a sandwich and chips.  Found out I do not like cucumbers on my sandwich.  Yuck!

So this week has definetly been tougher, but of course it's supposed to be!  I'm scared for next week, as my cravings for McNuggets start to take over.  I have to keep thinking about Thursday's weigh in....and not fall off the bandwagon just yet.

Learn something new this week - I am now becoming addicted to the sugar free Jello, mainly because it is 0 points!

Week 1 - Just the Beginning

Weight Watchers is a 17 week program.  I weigh in every Thursday.  So here I go...

June 16, 2011
Today was my first meeting.  I weighed in at 156.2 pounds.  The lady talked of the new program and handed out little brochures and information sheets.  The members shared stories and advice and I even installed the Weight Watcher apps on my phone and iPod.  I was super pumped about this.  I was ready for it.  Except for the fact that I was going to the beach this weekend, and vowed I would start on Monday.

Monday came and straight out the gates I blew my daily points.  I went tolunch with a friend and my old dining out habits kicked in: I ate what I wanted and so what.  I paid for it later when I realized my whole lunch had added up to over 20 points...jeez.  I vowed to get back on track before the next weigh in.  I didn't want to be the person who actually GAINS before their meeting. Bah!

The next three days I spent most of my time in the grocery store buying things like fruits and vegetables and low point dinners.  I bought new measuring cups and even some Weight Watcher chocolates.  I wanted to do this right.  I wanted to feel good about all of this. 

Learned something new this week - Eating healthy is expensive!

New Beginnings...

Some of you may read my other blog.  Some of you probably don't.  But if you know me then you know I have started my struggle with losing weight.  I've recently started the Weight Watcher program with a great bunch of people that I work with.  I guess it's nice having someone around that can watch you and make sure you're sticking to your points!

At times I feel like a hypocrite because I have always said I didn't believe I was fat and didn't need to lose weight to make others happy.  Yet, here I am, enrolled in one of America's top weight loss plans.  I tell myself (and others) that I'm doing this for my health (my high BMI and my super high cholesterol) and to just feel better about me.  But is this true?  Have I just become one of those people that is obsessed with losing weight?  Have I become that woman that orders a dinky salad when she goes out or giggles and says she can't have that cake at the office because "I'm on a diet"?  Agghh!

Whatever the reasons behind this I am starting something new here.  This is the first time in my life I've had to care about my weight and what I've been eating.  As a self proclaimed foodie, I've always loved food.  I eat at all hours of the day and love to go out to eat with my husband and my family or friends.  I'm a huge fan of anything with cheese, deep fried or full of carbs.  No foods are off limits with this program, but it does make you choose, and I've always been horrible at decisions.

I'm not going to lie.  I'm scared.  I'm nervous.  I'm doubting myself.

Some people aren't meant to be skinny.  Am I?